1. |
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This is my contract: there will be no show
If your club hasn't joined the last millennium
I shouldn't have to see dicks and balls hanging
And looking into another man's eyes as he's straining
This is my contract: there will be no show
Are you that fucking broke?
Just a plank of wood would be enough
Tell me, where do you shit when you're here and the urge hits?
I say let us use that one instead
But no, how must you see us
"The animals can use this pail
The door's open, gather round
See his tail grow and paint the bowl"
This will not stand
If they won't give you dignity, a door to close
Shit their stage, show them how much you can be exposed
We cast this mandate: a gate where we defecate
Or pay us more for the show past the bathroom door
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2. |
Internet Hangover
01:30
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20th selfie this week from this gross mid-life crisis turd
You are so fucking boring
Arguing full-throated using celebrity's words
You are so fucking boring
Paragraphs of prose about your piss-shallow musings
You are so fucking boring
Still high off the latest hit of reacts you've been abusing
You are so fucking boring
Self-obsessed zero with nothing of your own to show
You are so fucking boring
Persona of memes and most of them fucking blow
You are so fucking fucking fucking fucking boring fucking boring
Haven't earned a fraction of the shit that you talk
Acting like a fucking guru, god you barely can walk
And you haven't figured out yet that you're not some beacon
You're a train wreck sideshow with gasoline leaking
The same "close friends" that feed the comments you suck on
All laugh behind your back at the stupid shit you're stuck on
Dramarrhea leak
Fuck your whole profile
Do you know how stupid you come off?
You fucking internet hangover
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3. |
A Fateful Day
01:03
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A clap of thunder deafened all
A tower severed from its stony walls
A savage fire in the sky did then appear
All the ocean waters drained
And no one ever dreamed again
On the day the singer loaded gear
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4. |
David
02:01
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I'm supposed to meet my good friend David here
Did you happen to see him walking in?
I don't know everyone by name that comes in here, man
I'm gonna need a description
Well all right
His hair is stringy, probably matted with phlegm
Beady shifty eyes, a face a mother'd condemn
Carries the aroma of the shittiest pot
Sunken chested beer gutted face full of snot
Have you seen my good friend David here?
Have you seen my good friend David here?
Oh yeah, I did see a few guys come in that looked that way
Though you know, it's really kind of hard to say
So that i'm not sending you on any wild trails
Can you give me any more details?
Sure
Just by looking at him you can tell that he's trash
Probably ate a baby, fucked an animal's ass
Sculpted in the shape of fucking failure and hate
Tell me, have you seen him or is he running late?
Oh I know who you mean now
He got here ten minutes ago
He actually asked for you too
Though how he described you, you probably don't want to know
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5. |
Laplace Jiu-jitsu Master
00:59
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Did you hear about the Laplace jiu-jitsu master?
Some called him "Hot Brown", but that's another story entirely
He was the champion of Kenner's parking lot tournaments
Kenner, of course, being the Eastbank's Westbank
It was a hard nod life for "Hot Brown"
Until that fateful day he saw the flyer on the telephone pole
He texted the number and was told to meet at a warehouse
When he did that night, it was a very different thing he found indeed
Oh wait. This isn't the story of the Laplace jiu-jitsu master "Hot Brown"
It's the story of a guy with no critical thinking skills
Who ended his evening with a lot of foreign objects in his rectum
But also a level of internet fame that most of you would die to have
Sorry, I always get those mixed up.
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6. |
Banjo Is Back
02:02
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Scream at the top of your voice, it doesn't matter what the syllables are, nobody's ever gonna read the words
Didn't I just use this concept for another project I released about a month ago?
It's the final song for the album and I still haven't come up with a name for it yet
Just gonna run my mouth for the lyrics then start picking around my stupid pictures folder
Banjo is back again
Eight years, I don't know why
Scott did some good guitar
Three people might buy it
I caught the flu so I gotta do these vocals with a coughing fit I've had for two fucking weeks now
After I'm done, probably going out tonight and catch the 90s band at Hurricanes
Blaine really wanted to be on the album but you kinda gotta come over here to do that
There will never be another live Banjo show, they only think that it's a good idea, holy fuck
Banjo is back again
Eight years, I don't know why
Scott did some good guitar
Three people might buy it
Buy it
Probably not
Music has no value anymore
Banjo never did
Way ahead of the curve
Fuck you
Holy shit this is a long fuckin song, I gotta fill it up with one more verse
I'll just pick a random manual and read it til the song gets to the end
Install the metal mount please refer to the detailed instructions on page 2
Remove the protective film wrapped on the lamp body, do not use knives or sharp instrument
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Banjo Houma, Louisiana
This project refuses to die. A new album every eight years! Quality not assured, that's the Banjo guarantee!
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